“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”
I fake a smile. Sorry , I'll do better next time.
I'm suffering every single day. No matter how sad I am , how moody I am I can't express my feelings. Its kind of torturing when I feel like crying but all I can do was just smile. Only smile. Fake a smile to the world. That's crazy , yes it is. No choice , its my career. FML.
I'm alright with my life. Its quite bored sometimes but I'm already used to it. Just the hardest to do is waking up without him. But I'm getting over it. I named him ' Don't Reply ! ' for his contact. I know its funny but it reminds me not to reply him. He kept calling and texting me. Its kinda hard for me to control my heart. I can't cry just drink. That's fucking torturing !
There were many questions stuck on my mind.
Why is he still finding me since we were totally end ?
Why is he telling me his recently life ?
Why is he bothering my life ?
Why is he caring for my health ?
Why is he still fucking like last time ?
Why ... why ... and why ....
I can tell you , my brain gonna explode soon. SOON !
Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.
I cried like goddamn kid inside the damn toilet. ( well , its kinda disgusting crying inside the toilet ) x:
I tell myself , " Micol , Stop thinking . Stop all these shit ! " I block myself from replying. But I can't handle it at last. I'm totally useless. FUCK MYSELF.
I self destruct every relationship so that i don't get hurt... but in truth i just hurt myself worse in the long run. I realized falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful. It's hard for me to love someone because I'm so afraid of losing them. So until now I don't dare to be in any relationship. I can't bare with those pain. I could die !
I self destruct every relationship so that i don't get hurt... but in truth i just hurt myself worse in the long run. I realized falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful. It's hard for me to love someone because I'm so afraid of losing them. So until now I don't dare to be in any relationship. I can't bare with those pain. I could die !
I don't know why he said : 我会努力赚钱，你一定会佩服
It's like non of my shit ? But my heart suddenly melt. He's working hard for me. WHY?! I'm so so fucking stress these few days. Insomnia for a week. Damn my life !
What should I do ?
Ignore ? Sigh....
I'm ain't the last time me. I'm weak !
